A man I am working with is going through a divorce and is experiencing deep emotional pain. I gave him an assignment to find three key words that define how he wants to be right now. He landed on one word in particular and that is the word “strong”. We talked about what that word means, what is looks like, sounds like, and feels like. I encouraged him to immerse himself in it, and shift his meditation from “I want to be strong” to “I am strong”. This subtle shift changes the mindset and makes a declaration of what is and what he is living into.
Many times when we go through hard times we want to stop feeling the pain and sadness and fear. To do this it is tempting to fall back on tricks we have learned to disconnect from ourselves, such as using alcohol, work, people, and busyness to distract ourselves. We try to convince ourselves that it doesn’t really matter. However, to tap into our deeper level of strength we need to be present to ourselves and honest with ourselves. This is often painful but in the midst of that we find strength on a source level. This is at your core emotional and spiritual self that is aware that you come from and are a part of a higher source. At this level you know strength is present in your vulnerability. Connecting with this source of strength gives hope in the experience of pain.
How, in reality do you access this strength? I think it is different for each of us but there are some practical things you can do for yourself:
- Allow yourself to feel what you feel
- Be as honest with yourself as you can about what you are experiencing
- Be honest with others you trust about what you are going through without demanding or expecting any particular response
- Invite the presence of Love into all of it
- Avoid external distractions or things you think will fix your feelings
- Accept what is
- Focus on moving forward with integrity rather than on what is past
- Meditate on being the strength you seek